I can't Imagine

I wonder what John Lennon would say or sing about the world today? What would be his spin on terrorism? Just wondering....

To all my friends and loved ones, I love you more.

In a New York Minute

I ended up doing something on Sunday that I never anticipated. I went to a funeral service up in Wisconsin for a fraternity brother that was killed in a tragic motor vehicle accident. The accident occurred at 7:00 A.M. and Don was apparently on his way to work. Eyewitnesses said he appeared to be reaching for something on the floor or seat and swerved into an oncoming semi; small mistake with a tragic outcome. Cell phone would be a good guess. I've done it myself and on the way up to the service I saw a woman in a mini van do the same thing right in front of me. Fortunately for me and the driver yesterday there wasn't any oncoming traffic when we went into the other lane.

I hadn't seen Don for about 4 years. My lasting memories include how smart I thought Don was; how funny he was and how, after drinking as much alcohol in college than I will probably drink in a lifetime, once out of college he never touched another drop. That takes fortitude. I loved the guy and I am sorry I hadn't seen him more recently. He was, by all accounts, a dedicated family man; a good man, a good friend, a good co-worker. The service was packed with people that Don had touched at some point in his life including his lovely family. His is a legacy of showing love and being loved. He definitely died too young at age 55 but he had it down.

The following is an excerpt from Don Henley's "New York Minute"

In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute
Things can get pretty strange
In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute

Lying here in the darkness
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebody's going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hang on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door

In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute
Things can get a little strange
In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute

And in these days
When darkness falls early
And people rush home
To the ones they love
You better take a fool's advice
And take care of your own
One day they're here;
Next day they're gone

I know this to be true...that is the way it is. Tell the ones you love that you love them at every opportunity. Appreciate the time you have with them...it's borrowed. Every angry moment is poorly spent. I know I have written this before but these life changing events have a way of hammering these points home.

To all my friends and loved ones, I love you more.

Thanks Don.

Physician, Heal Thyself

I have a pediatrician friend (Dr. JS) that is struggling. First of all, the responsibility that comes with being a pediatrician is difficult for me to imagine. By all accounts, he is a dedicated, fabulous doctor. I know for a fact that he's brilliant. Yet, despite that, he can't seem to help himself from his own personal hell.

I won't go into all details as to why I say he is struggling but suffice it to say I am extremely worried that he will just have the "grabber" and we'll lose him. In the meantime, he is so miserable that those that call him friend find it easier to just stay clear of him. This, of course, leads him to lament his lack of friends. Note to JS...you are driving them away.

He hates his job and has for quite a while. The medical profession is not as lucrative as it once was. Still, I know he earns more money than most Americans ever dream of making. He hates his life. He works way too hard. He takes pride in telling me that he sees more patients than anyone in the sizable clinic group that he is part of. If I'm not mistaken this is a choice he has made. He points to that fact that he needs the money, which is bullshit. All I ever get from him is "negative, negative, negative", "poor me, poor me, poor me". It's hard to take. To quote a line from Jackson Browne "It's whatever it is you see that life will become". He has created his own personal hell and unfortunately his family and friends have to endure the heat to have contact with him. Ahhh...no thanks. Life is too damn short. Note to JS...think about that Jackson Browne line. The mind is a powerful thing....

My belief that there are basically two ways to look at your life and that only one of these ways is healthy.

1. Be grateful and appreciative for that which you have. (Mostly positive)
2. Always be disappointed because of things that you don't have. (Never positive)

JS is a #2. We were playing golf a while back at one of the most beautiful courses in the US and while we were playing he was lamenting the fact that he doesn't get to play much golf. Huh? Could you at least enjoy the golf you ARE playing and bitch after we're done. That is whacked but shows that he is unable to enjoy anything. Ugly.

I think that I am a #1 all the way. When I didn't have $10 to my name, I can't remember feeling any different than when I had a bank full of money. I guess I choose to get to content no matter what. I am grateful that my makeup allows me to make that choice. I realize it's not that easy for many people, my friend Dr. JS included. Broke and happy ain't that bad. Rich and unhappy has to suck as much as poor and unhappy. Money and things just don't get it done. If you think they do, you need a new road map.

If you think you are a #2, figure out a way to turn it around. Perspective can be a wonderful thing.

I realize this is a very complicated situation but I needed to vent a little. I have no tolerance for self defeating behavior. At the same time, I love my friend and his suffering wife and would love for him to begin to enjoy his family and the rest of his blessings. I have purchased a couple of self help books that I am going to give him for his birthday. I don't care if he gets angry with me or sloughs off my attempt to wake him up. I feel I need to do something. Note to JS...you have many that love you. If you don't turn things around you will continue to be lost to them.

I got the music in me

I have been thinking about this idea for some time but it wasn't until Layla, one of my favorite reads, did a post on song lyrics that I kicked it in gear. Thanks Barb.

Music is a major part of my being and I am proud of that. One of the rewards has been music that has touched me or made me think. The first lyrics I am going to bring in here contains the line that I always write on wedding cards and really sums up what any kind of love should be about. I'm not going to identify the name of the song in this post, the artist or the line I mentioned . I'll leave that for you experts out there. No googling!! Either you know it or you don't. If you must google, don't make a guess until we have an honest answer.

I love this...and I have many more

Boy of mine
As your fortune comes to carry you down the line
And you watch as the changes unfold
And you sort among the stories you've been told
If some pieces of the picture are hard to find
And the answers to your questions are hard to hold

Take good care of your mother
When you're making up your mind
Should one thing or another take you from behind
Though the world may make you hard and wild
And determine how your life is styled
When you've come to feel that you're the only child
Take good care of your brother

Let the disappointments pass
Let the laughter fill your glass
Let your illusions last until they shatter
Whatever you might hope to find
Among the thoughts that crowd your mind
There won't be many that ever really matter

But take good care of your mother
And remember to be kind
When the pain of another will serve you to remind
That there are those who feel themselves exiled
On whom the fortune never smiled
And upon whose life the heartache has been piled
They're just looking for another
Lonely child

And when you've found another soul
Who sees into your own
Take good care of each other

WHAT????

The last concert we attended was an event I was really looking forward to. I had never seen the Allman Brothers and now I finally had tickets to see them at the Rosemont Theater. Ooooooo...should be good in a smaller theater style venue. The current band features a couple of great guitar players in Warren Haynes and Derek Trucks so this promised to be especially tasty.

Well, I have now seen the Allman Brothers but I'm not sure I still have ever heard them play. The sound was horrid. We were 5 rows away so maybe we were too close. I walked all around the venue. Nope. The sound sucked throughout. Not even my special concert ear protection helped at all. I could see the guys playing but could only catch faint pieces of the audio. A loud muddy mess. We tried to gut it out but sitting in the mind numbing din became too much. We walked out. We were not alone. We saw many diappointed patrons heading to the doors early.

I have been fortunate to see many concerts. Prior to this I had never left one early (although I would have left Liza Minelli had it not been a business function). I should have left the only Stevie Wonder concert I ever went to for the same reason I left this one. We could not even make out a single one of Stevie's songs.

Oh well...great musicians, lousy technicians...who knew?

What concert or show surprised you by being awful? Which was much better than you thought?