A meme that my daughters completed

Haven't been around in a while...who stole all my free time?


1) My uncle once: hired me to work construction during the summers of my college years. The truck we rode in was not working properly so we had to ride home on excrutiatingly hot days with the heat on full blast.

2) Never in my life: have I felt the need to use a "line" on a woman.

3) When I was five: I cut the fingers off one of my sisters dolls. Ok so a manicurist I'm not. I got a spanking for this one.

4) High school was: an interesting place to be in that era

5) Fire is: a word you never want to hear when you are blindfolded with a cigarette in your mouth?

6) I once saw: Count Basie in Morrie Mages...which was at one time the largest sporting goods store in downtown Chicago.

7) There’s this woman I know who: was a clown in Barnum and Bailey's circus.

8) Once, at a bar: I shared the bathroom with a couple of guys from REO Speedwagon.

9) By noon I’m usually: starving.

10) Last night: I fixed my newest electric guitar and played it for a while; it felt great.

11) If I only had: more time.

12) Next time I go to church: will be when the Cubs win the World Series...so never.

13) The best thing about my last relationship was: that we made 3 wonderful children.

14) What worries me most: is people that worry. A Paul McCartney lyric asks "What's the use of worrying? No use". I agree.

15) When I turn my head left: My wall calendar.

16) When I turn my head right: Three boxes of wine and a limited edition Walter Payton football.

17) You know I'm lying when: I say I like all kinds of music. I'm not sure I can get into a lot of the world music and most rap is not "music". It may be art but...

18) What I miss most about the eighties: my youth.

19) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: an insuranseth unerwritereth.

20) By this time next year: I may have completed my male pattern baldness adventure.

21) I have a hard time understanding: why people aren't more kind and tolerant.

22) You know I like you if: you're not mean.

23) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: Leonardo Da Vinci. He's the first person that came to mind. For what reason, I don't know.

24) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: are up on the tee next.

25) Take my advice, never: say never.

26) My ideal breakfast is: making breakfast for my kids.

37) If you visit my hometown, I suggest you go to: one of our great restaurants.

28) Why doesn't everyone: just chill.

29) If you spend the night at my house: our hospitality will amaze you. And no, you must leave eventually.

30) I’d stop my wedding: What wedding?

31) The world could do without: politicians, bigots, so many lawyers, dictators, politicians, bigots, violent crime, hunger, greed, puritanical bullshit and life insurance sales persons.

32) My favorite blonde is: (was) an old blonde colored persimmon driver that I use to just crush off the tee until it shattered. The clubs name was actually "Blondie".

33) If I do anything well, it’s: spend money.

Uh, what happened to 34-43?? This meme was designed by the government and they needed more funding.

44) And by the way: Eric Clapton can really play that thing.

45) The last time I was drunk, I: had a good time drinking vino at home with some friends.